11.
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
Which one are you?

11.
You’re a close friend, or at least
You were
We’ve grown
                                   Apart
Maybe I
                                   Tore
Us apart
Maybe it’s because
You’re still following      
ME
Stop
Please
You aren’t that bad of a person
Even though many nights
Those words of yours
Entice my tears to play
I don’t love you
Sometimes
I wouldn’t even call it
                                                Tolerance
I don’t hate you
But
I hate your words


10.
Hey,
       I miss you. I always have. I always will.  
You missed my first soccer game.
You missed the move to California.
You missed their funerals
You missed Marching Band
Friends
Boys
You’ve missed my past
You’ll miss my wedding
My kids
My future
In my present
All I can do is wonder
I’ve never even met you
But I’d like to
Even though I never could
      Love,
               Your Girl

9.
I’m scared
I love you
Such a strong person
You go through so much every day
How
Do
You
Do
It?
It’s too much
For one person
You can’t carry the weight of the world
On your shoulders alone
It was hard before
But I can see
Everyone can
Atlas is going to get his globe back soon
And you’ll be crushed
Under your world’s enormous weight
What do I do?
I cry for you
Because there’s nothing else I can do
I don’t want to leave
I love it here
So much.
It’s my life or your death.
Help
But you’re doing so much already
I can never let you know
It’d only make your world heavier

8.
I hate you.
I just wish you’d leave
Go far far away
Jump.
You’re awful
You’re blind
                           Can’t you see?
She’s hurting
Selfish bitch
You don’t care, do you?
You only want him.
It’s a package deal
Don’t throw her away
I hate you
I’m not like you
                           
I could
NEVER
Be like you

You hurt him
You hurt her
You hurt me
And everyone around you
Open your eyes
Look
No one loves you
The only one that does
You push him away
He’d die for you.
You’d die to get away from him
Not like you know that
It’s a dark hole
You’re in it
He tries to pull you out
You slap him
And crawl deeper into the pit
I hope someone buries you down there
Suffocate
You wouldn’t have to kill yourself
                      Like you threaten so often
But I never would
Because I actually care
Not about you
But about everyone it would hurt
Whether you deny their love or not
They’d cry.
I just want you gone.

7.
This was your favorite number, ghost of the past. BFF’s
Yeah right.
We had great fun
You were the best friend
            The only friend
I’d made since I moved here
Inseparable
Twins
I was the good twin
You were the evil one
We’d make up stories
And play them out with dolls and those cute little catnip mice
The ones from Pets Mart
Fun times with my twin
You just made up
One story
Too
Many
I wanted to be friends
Sometimes
You have to protect yourself
Don’t cut my wrists
Like you cut yours
                                    Best Friends Forever, Twin
It only works
If both care

6.
I can’t say it enough



                              I’m so sorry



You did all you could
I encouraged you
You said
“I love you”

You have

no
idea

How guilty I felt
For not being able to say it back
I cried so much for you
And then
Treated you like shit
I’m so sorry
I don’t love you
Not like that
And when you said it
You meant like a sister
I can’t say it back
Because family would never treat another like
I treated you

I’m sorry.
I don’t want to fight with you anymore.

5.
I’m in pain
Everyday
Because of you
I can’t forget it
Ever
You didn’t know what you were doing
I didn’t for a while there either
I forgive you
But why aren’t you suffering?
Like I had to
And still do
3 years of therapy
Because of that idiot friend of yours
What was the point
I couldn’t make you happy
Even though I never wanted to.
And still I’m mad at myself.
Why must I suffer for your mistakes?
Why?
Why couldn’t we have kept watching Rugrats?
Like I wanted.
Why?

4.
Wow.
What is there to say?
You rock
You’re amazing
Most fun I’ve ever had with a person
Your laugh
Is hilarious
I’m lucky to have met you
Thank God you’re so lenient about things
Or I don’t know how I’d survive
This part seems boring
I just don’t
Know what to say

I’m sorry?

Stay yourself
Because no one else could pull off “you”
Thanks for putting up with my sarcasm
and flirting (you know what I mean)


I wish this were more poetic
You deserve better

3.
Best friend
Ever
I can always talk to you
Maybe
That’s just because you don’t ever seem
To
                  Sleep
We each have our own problems
And sometimes I feel special
Because you
Let me in that box you’ve formed
You’ve locked away the key
(you gave me a copy)
Little by little, I hope
One day I can open up your box
Pandora’s box
And let out all of the good things you hide away
We’re so similar
Yet so different

I’m the open book
You’re the locked chest in the attic

We just click

I trust you
With my secrets
With my insecurities
With my life
so
thank you

Sometimes though
I wish you’d yell at me though
For being so stupid
Instead of accepting it so easily
I guess you just want to make me feel better

2.
Brother
Friend
Ass hole
Most people now probably know which person I’m talking about
It’s scary
When we finish each other’s sentences
We both look freaked
And then laugh for a while
You’re too good for her
I don’t get it
But that’s life I suppose
You’re always the guy I go to
When I’m too afraid to talk to Tim
There are some things
I don’t want him to know
Because I’m afraid of how he’ll react
And I can tell you anything
I don’t know what it is
Maybe I just don’t give a damn
if you’re afraid of me

You hate it when I use emotions
It makes me laugh because I know you love it
You’re just acting macho

I guess all I can say is

You’re a total freak
I’m glad to be you’re not-blood sister
and I love it when you call me beautiful
(because no one else ever has)

1.
My sky
My world
My everything
some days
Technically you aren’t mine to claim
But
Doesn’t mean I don’t want to
I just know I can’t
You already belong to someone else

The sick bastard that thought this whole idea was a good one…
I’m going to slap him across the face as hard as I can
And then
Drop to the ground, cry hysterically, and thank him until I lose my voice
I’m so lucky to have met you
To know you
To have you talk to me
To look at me
To know who I am

What did I do to deserve something this great?
Nothing I know of.

I can’t believe it some days
You’re like a dream, too good to be real

“You deserve to be held, to have someone who can hold you. And sadly…that’s not something I can do.”

I remember when you said that
It wasn’t long ago.
I cried so much over that

I still do.

It’s hard to put into words what that means to me
Do you really care that much?
I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to care that much
I just thought I was weird.

I do wish you could, who wouldn’t?
But anything at all from you is far more than what I deserve.

I feel lucky if I get a sentence from you
(now imagine how I feel when you say things like that)

It’s hard for me to believe that someone my age can actually love
This coveted emotion
That no one can define
But I just know
Somehow
That I do
I truly do love you
And I always will

It’s so terrible we have to go through this
But no one ever said it was easy
I’m sorry I’m probably making you hurt
Although you’ve never said it
Others have
And I can tell
You probably feel the same way about me
I do about you
And I hate it that you probably worry
About how you affect me
And what you can and can’t do

I don’t want you to worry
I want you to be happy
That’s the only reason I made that promise to you
Because it’d make you happy
I’d do anything to make you happy
And I know you’d do the same for me


Thank you so much for being there
For helping me (even if you didn’t know you were)
For helping me discover myself
(still working on that last one)

I’m not sure whether I’ve cried or smiled more over you
And I’ve loved every minute of it all

I didn’t know it was possible to feel this much emotion over anyone

And
I promise
Next time you ask me to dance
There isn’t a fiber in my body
That will say no

I’d love nothing more.

(because I love no one more)

<3

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Which one are you?